Stacie Sherman

I return to this blog, like a long lost friend. Eager to see my fingers sweep across the keyboard. But where do I begin? Like that friend you haven’t seen in so long. There’s so much to say, but you are silent, paralyzed by the decision over where to start. Do you start where you ended? Do you start with the best news? The worst? Do you start from what happened last week and work your way back?

The answer – always easier said than done – is that you just start.

And so I sit at my desk on a freezing Sunday afternoon. I am fresh out of the shower after a day that included breakfast at our neighbor’s house, a visit to the gym and a quick food-shopping trip. I’m in sweats and slippers, my wet hair back in a ponytail. I have chicken soup simmering on the stove. I hear my husband’s football game on the TV, my dog’s toenails as he makes his way across the kitchen floor. I’m in my daughter’s room, where my desk is at the moment. The lights are dim, and I’m surrounded by the comfort of the whir coming from her noise machine. My daughter is with her caretaker for a couple more hours.

I have no reason not to write. And yet so many times, I find one. Today, I break the spell, if only for an hour.

All is quiet, for the moment. We’re five days into the new year and I’ve already broken more resolutions than I made. Dry January fizzled out last night on Day 4 with the surprise arrival of old friends at our doorstep. Now my husband and I have bartered Saturday nights into our dry January, at least until later in the month when we have a quick extended weekend away to Florida. That will not be a dry weekend.

I always try to make a list of things I set out to do. This year’s list didn’t even get written down, it’s just some thoughts in my mind I tried to organize. Dry January was on our to-do list; you see how well that went. I have others, but before I get into that it’s probably worth looking at how much got done in 2024. That was a year of hits and misses. But it’s always worth looking at.

For my incredible son, 2024 was a remarkable year of accomplishment, growth and maturity. He is still working at the same company, for bosses that appreciate and recognize his hard work and commitment. He’s got a great group of work friends. His band had several great gigs last year. One band member left midyear. That’s been a bump in the road. He’s continuing to practice and play. He’ll get back on track with his music. He’s too talented not to. At 24, Cam is such an incredible man. His future is bright. We’ve just got to keep helping him believe in himself as we prepare him for his future.

Brielle, meanwhile, adjusted so well to our new community, her adult program. A new schedule that had her stepdad instead of me getting her ready many mornings so I could attempt to get into my office a few days a week. There have been bumps — and it’s funny how fuzzy the bumps get after a few months and some perspective. Some days she cried, some nights she couldn’t sleep. But most days she smiled and laughed and filled the world with her joy.

As for me, I didn’t achieve all I set out to do at the beginning of 2024. Of course, that is an impossible goal for autism parents because our list is ridiculously long, never ends and never gets shorter. Every time we cross something off our list, we add one or two more things.

I did make some strides in financial planning for my kids. As I write this and think about it, I realize perhaps I’m not giving myself enough credit for that. Because when all is said and done, there’s really nothing more important. That’s why we do what we do, no?

Then there was the publishing of my book. I did not make any bestseller’s list, but I never set out to do so. My goal was to share my reality, bare my soul and maybe open a few eyes. I have no doubt that many of the first readers to snap up my book were family members and friends. The response has been incredible from them, from old friends, from friends of friends, from colleagues I barely spoke to, from strangers. I have been asked to sign copies. I have been invited to speak several times. I’ve won some recognition that I never would have gotten had I not put myself out there.

Had I intended to be a bestseller, I would have found a publisher, an agent, a marketing team. I would have had a bigger and grander plan for getting my book into every bookstore in America. Instead, I self-published. I gave myself a few cents for every book I sold. I gave away way too many copies. All I wanted was to be heard, for me and my kids to be better understood.

Mission accomplished.

For me, this book was a dream come true. It was another I Did It moment that began with the “I am the Storm” tattoo imprinted on my arm at the ripe old age of 51. Because my 50s have brought me to that place in life, where you finally realize that you are a badass who can do anything. Where the only thing stopping you from doing what you want to do is you.

So, what’s on my agenda for 2025? I’ve always got a few irons in the fire. Hubs and I have planned a trip to Europe I’m literally counting down the days to. At the moment I’m enjoying not having any huge goals, at least for myself. Brielle’s residential placement is expected sooner rather than later, so we’re trying to focus more on her independent skills. Of course, the resolution of making them do everything for themselves goes out the window when you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, or when you’re exhausted after a crazy day of work. But we’re getting there.

I’m still doing some stuff for my book. I have an author event at a local library later this month. There’s also a book festival in a few months. My short-term goal is to get back in the swing of writing more regularly, starting with this blog. My followers know how that goes. Some months I blog three or four times, other months not at all. Looking back now, I had more than a dozen blog posts last year.

I like to promise nothing, hope for everything, and tell myself it’s OK if I land somewhere in between.

Until we meet again — S