What do you want to be when you grow up? When do you need to grow up? Are you being what you wanted to be when you grew up? Are you supposed to do what you love or do what you know? Can you do both?
These are huge questions for all of us, but even bigger for someone like my son who sees the world with literal and concrete thinking.
When my son told me he wanted to go to college, I knew it was because the idea of success to him was a college degree. I knew his strengths and his limitations, his struggles and his natural abilities.
My son is incredibly talented musically. He can play a song on his guitar after listening to it. He knows every musician, their birthplace, their discography. He is a showman, a stud, a stunning kid who commands the stage and everyone’s attention.
When it comes to college he is a hard worker. He aims to please, he tries his hardest and it shows. But he also has a limited attention span, he doesn’t test well and he speaks better than he writes.
When your special needs son tells you he wants to go to college, you don’t stand in his way. You do everything in your power to make sure he succeeds. You sign him up for all the special help he’s entitled to. You read his books along with him, you help him study for tests, you edit his writing. You remind him of upcoming papers and tests.
And after a year when he tells you that he has no idea why he is in college or what he wants to be, you don’t throw up your hands and give up. You talk it through with him. And when he tells you maybe he should be a graphic artist like his dad, or he should get a business degree and an office job, you try to steer him right. You tell him that everyone has natural gifts and they should follow that path, even if it’s not crystal clear. Even if they end up doing something a bit different than they had hoped, it should still be in the realm of their natural talents.
I am a writer. I have been writing since I wrote a poem “The China Doll” when I was in grade school that got published in the local paper: “The China doll’s eyes are made of glass. Sparkling in the sunshine, they always last.” There’s more, I will spare you.
As I went through a lot in high school, I decided to be more practical. I was really good in math, so I decided to go to college for accounting like my brother.
Once I got to college, amidst my accounting classes, I took one journalism class and I knew I was meant to write. I thought I would be writing novels. I ended up writing mostly financial and political news. But I am writing and that is the path I was meant to follow.
So when your son asks you what to do, you tell him to follow his own path. You tell him that he can be anything he wants to be. You tell him that if his love is music, he should pursue music. Even if you know the chances of him becoming the next Ozzy Osborne are slim. You tell him that the music business is not just about being a rock star. Then you do your research and find him a major that sounds made for him.
So we found a new major, music technology, that seems made for my son. He will start over at a new school in September. He is really psyched and I hope we have found his path. If not, then we will do it again until he finds his way. 
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