I hear it’s sibling day. So with an apology to my big bro for not writing about him, I want to focus this on the amazing relationship between my son and daughter.
Cam is such a good big brother. Every time I see him carry her backpack for her, or grab her hand to keep her from running, I melt.
It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I began to see Cam “step up” and be her protector. If we were at the store and I got distracted for a second, he would make sure she hadn’t wandered too far (not that she would).
I don’t think she gives him too much notice. She doesn’t give anyone too much notice (Except me, of course the target of her love and her wrath). But I can tell she knows he is there. Busy with his own stuff, but there if she needs him.
I remember taking her to one of his rock shows. He was up on stage with his band, jamming on his guitar, and she was jumping up and down right in front of the stage with glee (at that second). I could see the confused look on his face, he didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or happy. I don’t blame him. He was just making friends and learning about social cues and such. But he handled it wonderfully and it was one of the few times she saw him on stage.
At another one of his shows, she was not in the mood for any of it. I had come alone that day, hoping for the best from her so I could spend some time with her while getting to see my son rock out. Bree was not having it. I ended up having to leave early, and I felt awful. As I waved goodbye, my son left his group of friends to come over and hug us and assure me he understood. And I know he did.
She drives him crazy, I know. Her screams, her grabs, her constant requesting of pasta and drinks. But if I don’t move fast enough, he is right there, responding to her, helping her. He’s my pinch hitter (that was for my bro: Ad, I used a baseball term in your honor! Of course I had to double-check whether it was pinch or pitch).
Cam has seen Bree at her worst. He has seen me at my worst when she is at her worst. He knows my struggle. And he knows how much I love them both. No matter what.
He learned a long time ago that there are going to be meltdowns, and there is a good way and a bad way to handle them. Screaming back is not the answer. Scolding her is not the answer. Staying as calm as possible is key. It’s easier said than done. But he knows her well.
I was told a story about my son, when he was at Sibling Day at my daughter’s school last year. He was the oldest of the group of siblings, and he became somewhat of a teacher and mentor to the younger kids during the event. He loved it. Well, as the group was walking down the school hallway, Bree started to have a total meltdown, threw herself down on the hard floor and all. A teacher started to scold her, I was told, and Cam didn’t like that very much. He bent down next to Bree, put his arm protectively around her, and looked angrily up at the woman. “I’ve got this,” he said, and he proceeded to calm his sister.
That protective, understanding brother is the boy I raised. The man with challenges of his own, figuring it out as he goes. Becoming a man before my eyes. I wondered years ago if I would ever be able to depend on him to help me with his sister.
Now I know.
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